Tuesday, November 29, 2005

dalek sex

i never watched much doctor who when i was growing up... my local pbs affiliate would show it sometimes, but at funny hours. and it's hard to get into such long-form serialized fiction unless you know you know you can put in enough time to catch up with it all.

but i am interested in watching the new doctor who series that premiered on bbs in 2005. and i'm definitely interested in seeing this video when and if it gets leaked online.

BEEB bosses have gone ballistic after discovering the Daleks are starring in a PORN FLICK.

Dr Who's foes capture three naked "disco babes" in the 18-rated DVD.

They chase the girls around their spaceship and grope them with their plungers.

Abducted By The Daleks — which features grey, red and black pepper-pot baddies watching a lesbian scene — was "five years in the making", says the sleeve.

that's right... dalek porn! the sun article has a few not-work-safe screenshots from the video. (the sun site uses a javascript that tries to prevent you from copying the pics to your hard drive, but you can find the urls by using your "view source" feature.)

the bbc and the estate of terry nation, who created the daleks back in the '60s, are not happy.

Estate director Tim Hancock said: "The reason the Daleks are still the most sinister thing in the universe is because they do not make things like porn.

"They weren't ever intended to be sexual creatures. It's simple, Daleks do not do porn."

but has hancock seen the video in question? it's easy enough to say that they aren't sexual creatures, but daleks are organic creatures inside those metallic shells, so clearly at some point they had to reproduce somehow. and besides, who's to say there aren't legitimate story reasons why a bunch of daleks might kidnap some disco babes and make them have lesbian sex with each other?

not to mention that the attempts to shut down this video might be short-sighted. from wikipedia:

Despite the Daleks' popularity, however, they were forever associated with Doctor Who. Nation, who jointly owned the intellectual property rights to the Daleks with the BBC, therefore had the problem of owning a money-making concept that proved nearly impossible to sell to anyone else and was dependent on the BBC wanting to produce stories featuring the creatures. Indeed, several attempts to market the Daleks outside of Doctor Who were unsuccessful. The sums of money required to pay Nation for the use of the Daleks also explained why their appearances in the programme were rare in later years. Since Nation's death in 1997, his share of the rights now belong to his estate and are administered by his former agent, Tim Hancock.

they were never able to successfully market daleks outside of doctor who, but this is their chance! there's a whole world of dalek porn out there just waiting to happen! porn is big business, and makes good money these days. think of the royalties that could come from officially licensed dalek porn! horny doctor who fans worldwide might shell out big bucks for such saucy entertainment.

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