Monday, February 02, 2004

i actually watched the super bowl this year (not entirely by choice; i wasn't home) & was surprised to find something actually worth seeing! that's right, janet jackson's titty:

admittedly, that's sort of a closeup. you have to thank the internet for that one. but even without the closeup, we saw plenty, & millions of "tween"age boys' testicles dropped at the same time. it was beautiful.

but the ferocity of those tweenagers' masturbation that night was surpassed by the ferocity of the professionally outraged, who seem to serve no other purpose than to be upset by what they see on tv. luckily, fcc overlord michael powell just so happens to be among that crowd, & has already promised an investigation into janet's mammaries. (now that's an investigation i could sink my teeth into... the sex jokes just keep on coming, folks)

some people, like powell, are convinced it was intentional. after all, the timing was perfect (right as mr justified lip-synced "gonna have you naked by the end of this song"), & janet is wearing that elaborate, stunning, magnificent sun symbol........... what was i talking about again?

janet, justin, mtv, cbs, & anyone who would actually know say it was a mistake. janet's spokesdude said "He was supposed to pull away the bustier and leave the red-lace bra." which frankly makes a lot of sense if you actually watched the show. when nelly came out earlier & un-sang his hit "hot in herrrrrrrrrrrrrre", i thought they wouldn't use the chorus of "take off all your clothes." but i was wrong. not only did they use it, but the dancers pulled away the top layer of their clothing to reveal another layer. that's right: another layer, not their fabulous nubian breasts. the audience didn't get to see their areola, their fantastic chocolate ......

so taken in context, i can buy it. justin pulls off a bustier to show a hot red brazierre. that sounds like a cbs slash mtv kinda stunt. but honestly, does it really matter? is anyone going to get raped or murdered because janet's delicious nipple was exposed during the super bowl? no. more likely, there's a lot of young boys pleasuring themselves over at the drudge report right now. go ahead, check out the salacious photos there. nice & smutty. it'll get you hot.

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